Sasuraal in the Society !!

Now that I have your attention...

Don't we all just love chaos ? 

The auto ride to Urwai Gate, the entrance to Gwalior fort.

Ashis Nandy, a sociologist wrote back in 1980 that "in India, the choice could never be between chaos and stability, but between manageable and unmanageable chaos, between humane and inhuman anarchy, and between tolerable and intolerable disorder."

And was he right?  Just explore this great hubris called "Bharat" and you'll bow your head down to this great man.

This post is dedicated to me taking a shot at "Solo travelling".  Thanks to a cousin of mine, Aparajita, did I finally muster the courage to plunge into it. And it was awesome, scary yet liberating! I've always been a sugar and spice kind of a person. Liked a hint of a special something in my drinks. So I decided to experience the thrill of an unplanned journey by going without a return ticket.

Travelling itself is known to elicit very zany emotions. You start noticing the minutest of things and fall in love, every day, every moment that you travel. 

#1. The contrasting reads displayed proudly at the platform book stall at Nizamuddin station. Man, there are more Amish Tripathi's per square foot display area of any book stall than any other author. Other than Chetan Bhagat, of course! That dude is everywhere.

My funny take on the contrasting reads at the book stall

#2. Trains. I am an absolute sucker for train journeys. Standing at the door and seeing the tracks intertwine and then merge into one, among other things. This time there was something more in store for me. The ravines between Dhaulpur and Morena. 

About an hour from Agra, the train crosses the state border of UP for a brief soiree with this town called Dhaulpur which marks the eastern most fringes of the state of Rajasthan. From there starts the 50 km journey where the train chugs into Madhya Pradesh and into the town of Morena. Its a 45 minute journey, and all you see outside for the first 20 minutes are ravines, deep and snake-like, with stark vegetation thrown in here and there. With the sun blazing outside all you will remember will be 'Chambal ke Daaku'. 

#3. Stations. Like I've always said, they're one's first glimpse into things about to come. Each one so different from the other. And they always have a story to tell. Some day, I am going to sit under a tree at a small, unknown station in a desolate part of India and watch trains all day long.

Gwalior Station. 3 PM. Sunday afternoon.

#4. Walking. Public Transportation. Just walk out of any station onto the road. Feel the city talk to you. And you'll know where to get your next ride. Two shared autos and a 2 km walk later I reached my destination. Had I taken a direct auto, I would have reached the same place in 10-15 minutes. But the 30-40 minute walking/public transportation combo made me talk to 5 different people for directions and I ended up remembering the street names for a long time.

#5. Gwalior Fort. Brilliant piece of architecture. Hill forts never fail to disappoint you. The views that you get from the top of the city of Gwalior are breathtaking. The walk from Urvai gate up to the fort is like taking a walk down the annals of history with a backpack. 

The walk from Urvai gate upto the fort.

You have have to strain your neck to get a full view of the exquisite sculptures of Jain Tirthankars cut into the rock on which the fort stands. They are huge, finely cut stone work and a treat to watch even when the 40 deg sun is making you sweat it out. "Just take out your cap and stop cribbing, you baby!" The statues keep you company all the way up to the fort. There the age-old Scindia school stands to give you a welcome.

Rock cut sculptures of Jain Tirthankars

I ran all the way to the top. My mind could afford it, my over-sized belly couldn't. Had to sit down under the shade of the chowkidaar bhaiya's shack and cool my ass off. That is when I saw this lizard roaming aimlessly under the shade of the window in a deserted cabin.

I was talking to the chowkidaar bhaiya and his pals, when I got a call from a friend that he was at the station. Invited him over. 

He was to meet us at Urvai gate. Now I wasn't going to walk all the way down and up again. Crawled into the back of a jeep going down. Chatting with the chowkidaar bhaiya had helped. Yay!

Just as we got down, our friend got off from his auto. And we saw a Mahindra truck going up. Politely asked the gentlemen driving it. He agreed and we climbed into the back. There! We had our ride back to the top. Laziness does pay!

Now we were 3 guys taking in the views at the top. 

Decided to head to the Gurudwara inside the fort compound. Legend has it that the Sikh Guru Har Gobind Singh Ji freed prisoned kings from the Gwalior fort, marking an important event in Sikhism, thus the name, Gurudwara Bandi Chhod.

Gurudwara Bandi Chhod - Gwalior Fort.

Langar Hall at the Gurudwara

The gurudwara itself is a serene place to spend time at. Wanted to jump into the kund. Note to self : Always keep a towel when out hiking.

Yes, we are humans and we do feel hungry. And what better place than the 'langar' at the Gurudwara. I ate 7 rotis. Burrp! The freshly made achaar and channe-wali daal were delicious.

Saw the seva-daar serving water with this ingenious trapping. It was a drum on a trolley and the tap was controlled by a brake-like lever that the boy operated. Result : No water wastage, no hands touching the water. Brilliant.

While we were walking out, we saw this totally amazing couple who appeared Sikhs but were too fair to be Indian. Assuming them to be Indians settled abroad, we broke into a conversation with them, only to find out that they were American citizens who converted to Sikhism and were now running a bakery in Mexico. What amazed me was how they shifted flawlessly from greeting 'Sat Sri Akal' to us and speak Spanish when describing their plans of touring India.

2 bottles of chilled Maaza per person from the MP tourism canteen and 3 water bottles which we kept re-filling were all that we needed to get this tour done on a hot summer day in Gwalior.

Headed straight to the Man Mandir Palace, the main attraction of the fort. One that gets its way into all tourism advertisements. For those of you who don't know, the blue tiles that you see have yellow ducks interspersed in between.

Also the palace has 2 levels of basements. Very spooky. 

Man Mandir Palace - Gwalior Fort

There are a lot of other attractions to see inside the fort complex and a well-kept museum as well. The Saas-Bahu temple is what intrigued us the most with its peculiar name shouting a story. The temple called Sas-Bahu aur Sahastra-Bahu temple was built by one of the Kachhwaha kings depicting Lord Vishnu with a thousand hands for his wife who was an ardent devotee. Now when her daughter-in-law came into the family, she was a devotee of Lord Shiva. So a second temple was built next to the main temple, where Lord Shiva could be worshipped. Hence, the namesake : Saas-Bahu temple. Don't get me wrong, it's an amazing piece of architecture from the inside with beautiful carvings everywhere. Keep your camera handy! (P.S the title of this post is a takeaway from the above few lines.)

Saas-Bahu temple, Gwalior fort

We got out from the fort complex using the other exit called the Alamgiri gate which took us through old Gwalior from where we had to chase a shared Auto heading towards to the station.

#6. The thrill of being unplanned. Now I knew the return part of my journey was going to be entertaining. But to this level? Stood in the rush hour queue at Gwalior station at 6 in the evening to try and buy a ticket only to be told that I had already passed the booking time and all I would get would be a general-unreserved ticket. Dirt cheap it was. Sources had informed me that Bhopal express departing Gwalior at 3 AM was the most reliable train I could take.

Packed in 3 bottles of water and got to the station at 1 in the night. It was already 18 hours since I was awake. Flitted between watching trains and partly dozing off. The only thing waking me up was the crackling voice of the Railway announcement lady informing about a train arriving or departing. 

Gwalior station. 3 AM.

3 AM. No sight of Bhopal express. Briefly heard about some train standing at platform 3 going to Delhi. I went over. Saw the face of the TT. Seemed like a chilled out guy. Got into the sleeper coach. Saw the TT crowded around by some folks. A denomination later, I was on a side lower seat with the cool breeze sweeping on my face. 

Note to Others: Always take a night train when you don't have a confirmed ticket. 

8 AM. Reached Delhi. Read the name of the train when I got off! 

The train in which I travelled from Gwalior to Delhi.

Now to a good bath and then straight to office. To sleep! Yawn!

The Sweet Tooth!

Engineers don't have a sweet tooth. They have sweet teeth. All 32 of them, apparently! Or in my case, 30. (having lost the pair to sweetness already!)

Food, guides a lot of my instincts. People who've been around me long enough know that for sure. But, sweets, they just do a little more.

French crepes might sound all fancy, but they are darn simple to make. You dish out a bowl, put in a fistful of flour, add a little milk, 2-3 eggs and stir for about 5 minutes. The essence is in the consistency of the mix. Not too loose, not too tight. A little loose preferably! Add a little vanilla sugar, if you're not too crazy about the egg-y taste.

A non-stick flat pan is what works best to roll these bad babies out. And butter. Definitely butter! Crepes, like all us scheming, love-hungry mammals, enjoy a lot of buttering. That just kinda ends up bringing out the flavors.

All credit to my aunt who thought the Sunday evening tea would be incomplete without this zing to the palate.

Oh and did I tell you that if you spread a little Nutella on top of the hot ones, it melts away and tastes heavenly?

So there you are folks, French Crepes with Nutella! 12 ones rolled out in 15 minutes.

Burn away.. or turn green! (whatever it is that happens to you with jealousy)

The name's Halwa... Gajar ka Halwa!

The Engineer picks up the Karchi again..this time to dish out Gajar ka Halwa !

And all it took was :

• 2 dozen carrots (finely grated) , 
• a fistful of sugar (evenly sprinkled) , 
• desi ghee, 
• 40 minutes,
• and a girl waiting to eat it all! 

.
..
...
....
.....

My mum, of course!

The halwa didn't even last an hour!

That's the short part of it!

The long part is that carrots have to be washed and in this weather the water feels finger-numbing cold. Your paunch is growing, but that is no excuse to feel tired after grating just 1 carrot when there are 13 more left to be done! And grated carrots when combined with ghee and sugar and stirred for some time over a medium flame smell delicious, but that is no reason to whip out the camera and snap a picture of the steaming delicacy.

I am getting better. Period!

Those Kohl-Lined Eyes!

Now, who would've thought that the Navagraha temple complex in Konark would be the scene of such a cheesy post. And for me to be witnessing it at the Sun Temple is cheesier to the next level! (Karna is the mythological son of Surya, the Sun God and I happen to be named after him)
Well, strange things happen all the time, don't they?

Konark is a small town in the Puri district of Odisha, famous for the Sun Temple, carved beautifully out of Black granite. Konark derived from the Sanskrit word 'Kona' meaning angle and Arka' meaning sun was designed as a gigantic chariot of the Sun God ('Surya') on 12 wheels drawn by 7 horses. Built in the reign of Narasimhadeva-1 in the 13th Century, it isn't really a temple in the literal sense of the word, there are no pujas performed there!

While on most journeys in a small rickety bus, jam-packed to its capacity, trotting along the road and taking about an hour and half to cover the 35 km distance from Puri, you are just happy that you reached, fortunately this wasn't the case here.

The NH 203 is pristine in every sense of the word and would easily go into my list of the best highways in India to travel on. I kind of re-lived my DTC bus college days by travelling on the foot-board of the bus. Instead of the hot, polluted air and car-spangled, tar-covered Delhi roads, the National Highway 203 weaves its way along the Bay of Bengal and greets you with tree-lined esplanades, salt-laden winds and the sun's light reflecting off the waters filtering its way through the thick foliage growing in abundance along the coastline. The bus keeps dodding through the Konark-Puri Marine drive when it reaches the Chandrabhaga beach from where it takes a sharp left turn to get to Konark.

You can choose to get-off here at Chandrabhaga. The sea here is untamed at its best, compared to the quiet, docile waters in Puri. And then walk the balance 3 odd kilometres through cashew plantations on one side and a wildlife sanctuary on the other. There is even a sign somewhere which asks you to drive slowly and lookout for crossing animals.

It was the first time I was seeing cashews growing like these. The junta there isn't worried about the cashews getting plucked by touristy folk like us. That's because the cashew fruit has a very intricate method of processing to make it the edible dry-fruit that we guys are so fond of gifting on festivals. And if you try and be all experimental and dig your nails into the squishy fruit, a gooey oil-like liquid oozes out which doesn't wash off with soap and over time ruins your skin. True story! Self-experienced.
The cashew literally has to be smoked out of the fruit and dried.

When you finally get to Konark, you must walk across shacks selling the usual stuff like sea-shells, stones, temple souvenirs and 3-4 different varieties of cashews to get to the world famous monument.
The sun temple is housed in a complex which is adjoining the Navagraha temple. The temple housing the nine planetary deities on a Navagraha slab has a prophylactic effect on the safety of the temple and is housed in many temples in Odisha. Since we were there on a Saturday and it was special puja day, there was a flea market in progress in the complex to cash in on the hordes of people visiting the temple to offer prayers. You could see two worlds out there, a flawless juxtaposition of ice-cream rediwalahs and hawan-samagri toting pandits.

After having exhausted ourselves admiring the temple and me photo-bombing a million snaps being taken by unsuspecting tourists, I remember us sitting under a shady tree and gorging on mangoes and water-melon. And since mum wanted to have some roti-sabzi, we went into one of the Marwari basas just outside the temple complex. These basas are exotic entities I tell you. You are served some very genuine home-cooked food within minutes of you grabbing a seat. Its a 'jaldi khao-jaldi niklo' kinda place. And it doesn't pinch your pocket at all.

As we were getting out of the complex, we found a hand-pump to wash our faces. The constantly humid weather does start getting to all the 'born-and-brought-up-in-a-landlocked-city' guys. I had already washed up and was chatting with an uncle who after seeing me trying really hard to get the cashew fruit oil off my hands, laughed at me and then started telling me tricks to hasten the process. And there she was, a few steps away from him, gulping a golgappa and chatting animatedly with her friend, a dupatta cleverly hiding her face. All I could see were her eyes, those Kohl-lined eyes!

" Those Kohl-Lined eyes... they take your heart away!

Everytime.. everytime you see them. "

From the Engineer's Kitchen!

Ummm.. My hands smell of Metthi. 

Because I just cooked the most awesome Metthi Aloo (Potato cooked with Fenugreek). 

Basic cooking is quite like science. You get the ingredients, follow procedure and its done.

Now, that's exactly what all cookbooks will tell you. What they won't tell you is how hard it is to keep a 2 kg cookbook in your hand while you're tumbling the vegetables upside down in the kadhai (hemispherical container used to cook). And if it is borrowed, then all the tension of dirtying the pages with your oily hands. So much work. Phew!

Cooking expects you to have a basic feel for it, if not anything more. Oh.. cmon..that's just fair.!!

I've been seeing my mother cook for ages now. And my father surprisingly cooks pretty well too. His cooking is more suited to my carnivorous palate. He is good with all kinds of meat.

And I've watched with wide eyes how the Dhaba-walas stir fry their dal makhni and shahi paneer.  They know the proportion of masala that is going to give me the kick and the amount of butter to put to make me lick my fingers. Its all very instinctive. No tablespoons or measures. How the chai wala bhaiya next to my office gate just knows with experience what it takes to make the killer cup of chai with the precise amount of sugar, chai patti (read : tea leaves) and milk. His concoctions come out perfect, everytime. Oh.. and the way they play around with the flame. While the dal is left simmering on a dheeme aanch for a long time for it to get its dreamy taste.. the tadka is usually added on a high flame with a lot of movements of the pan.

So, on a cold wintery evening, 3 days into the new year,  I put all my learnings to test.

Finely chopped some metthi, washed it and put it in the kadhai. I made sure all the water had evaporated before I added oil to stir fry it. In the meantime, peeled off some potatoes, and chopped them into small pieces, not too small, not too big ( as my father pointed out). When the metthi starts sticking to the kadhai and starts developing a slight crust, I scattered the potato pieces into the kadhai, added namak, haldi and some oil and tumbled them upside down. The potatoes started getting the familiar yellowish tinge. Put a lid on the container and let it simmer.

15 minutes later, mum comes to test. And I pass. With flying colours.

The engineer shall enter the kitchen again.

P.S : Yes. I had painted my gas plate that creamish-pinkish tinge.

10,000 !

Ten Thousand ?

As I crossed the red light from the Outer Ring Road at Nehru Place towards Maa Anandamayee Marg to cover the last leg to get to my Okhla Phase-2 office, the odometer on my bike chucked to 10,000 kms. The meter really didn't put in that much effort. The wheels surely did!

I swerved to the side of the road just as the four figures changed to five, tootling amongst a BMW and a Toyota, the playthings of the rich. The earphones unapologetically blared " Ji Karda ni mera... braka laun nu.. " (-I don't feel like applying the brakes-) , a popular Punjabi track from the movie "Mere Dad ki Maruti" echoing the thoughts running through my head.

So this is what 10,000 felt like! To all the trust I had put into my Yamaha FZ! All the new places I never knew were a part of Delhi. All the folks who rode pillion with me. And finally to my getting a better handle on the routes! Biking, is the best thing I could ever have got into. I remember the first time I biked alone on the Airport-Dwarka road on a cold winter night, the chilly wind breezing past my face, the silence of the night being broken by the roar of the engine. Living, felt so real.

As I get back onto the saddle to drive the last mile to my office, I realize I haven't given my FZ a wash. A spa treatment is due. A lil bit of waxing, a lil bit of oiling and she's good to roar again! She's quite like me! Doesn't really mind not taking a bath every single day!

Eww! Didn't really have to blurt that one out! 

Making Hay!

The Puri-Satapada highway ( NH 203A) gives a whole new meaning to the term "making hay while the sun shines". 

Catch a rickety private bus from the stand on Grand Road near Gundicha mandir. The bus charges you a cool 30 Rs. and takes a behemoth 2.5 hours to cover the 48 km stretch from Puri to Satapada. 'Sata' (meaning 'Seven') and 'Pada' ( meaning 'Village'), together meaning 'a group of seven villages' for the more touristy folk is from where you can access Chilika Lake.While many have written about the wonders of Chilika, known for its Irrawaddy Dolphins, Red crabs found on the Rajhans Beachstrip separating the brackish lake from the Bay of Bengal, and the the hordes of migratory birds that visit it during the winters, it was something completely different that struck me during my journey.

Puri, surprisingly has no State run bus service. There are OTDC buses, but they only run on package tours, apart from private tour operators available for booking at every hotel/lodge. If you are a backpacker, don't make the mistake of taking them. When you are scouting for a a bus near the Grand road, the bus operators try and compete with themselves and the 'Piaggio Ape' Autowallahs, telling you that they are the only ones that leave you closest to the lake. Apparently, all of them leave you at the same spot.

Our bus ride was all about Women power. There were atleast 20 women in the 25 seater bus which managed to stuff in 50. Ladies wanting to get off in an en-route town for work, school teachers, aunties visiting relatives. All of them knew the conductor well enough for him to shake off two men from their slumber just to get seats to the ladies. Pretty girls do have their way everywhere! Seems like, we were the only tourists on the bus. And in the limelight were a village couple romancing amidst all this chaos. The guy apparently telling the girl some funny joke!
The bus makes its way through the outskirts of Puri and halts so many times to pick up or drop off passengers that you start suspecting whether it is even moving. And then it takes a 30 minute halt midway in a town called Brahmagiri, where we hop off to gorge on a local variety of mango, 1-rupee samosas and vadas and a curiously familiar-tasting sweetdish made with curdled milk selling at 25 Rs. for a pao.

One of the passengers had to eventually bad-mouth the conductor to make him get the bus back on the road. As one gets closer to Satapada, Hay, was all there was on the highway. Folks cutting it, sifting it, ladies tying it up in bundles, drying it, men on top of huts using hay stacks to construct the roof. And farms with half cut stock as far as the eye could see.

Finally when you get to Satapada, Chilika presents its windy side to you.
Chilika motor boat association wallahs keep approaching to coax you to go see dolphins for 900 Rs. for an hour and half, or even take you to the Sea mouth for an additional 600 Rs. ( P.S. I put my Sales skills to test here. The rates are highly negotiable).

There are normal boats as well which ply on the lake ferrying people to another village for 15 bucks a hop or Rs. 30 as motorbike freight.

What's more to Chilika, you ask?

Jetty to the West side. Where we had the luck to see young sailors being trained in rowing and then getting punished.
The jetty banks are a peaceful place to sit and relax. Go ahead and taste the water. Its pretty clean, but quite salty. The sun doesn't feel too hot and the salt-laden winds keep trying to push you down. We even slept off in the shade in the jetty structure for quite some time. Plus you get to capture nice clicks like the ones of this old fisherman who was trying to steer his boat against the strong winds.











In the afternoon, we decided to have lunch at the nearby OTDC Yatri Niwas which cooked really nice Egg Masala, but had salty water to drink and to wash your hands with.

For our return journey, the conductor of the bus we were about to board was promoting the LCD in his bus so proudly that both my sister and I ended up putting 'tokris' ( read 'village baskets' ) on our heads and sleeping off during the entire journey when he decided to play the Salman Khan starrer 'Garv'.

Like we hadn't had enough salt rubbed on our entire body already!

The Puri Primate!

And, the Puri beach gets me back to my love! 

Yes. Its been quite some time since I wrote. 

But 3 days of backpacking in the bylanes of this quaint little town on the East coast, and I cant happen to contain my thoughts.

The Surat Sunrise!

This has got to be a story to tell.

I was back on track! Literally, of course.

To Bombay, again. On the August Kranti Rajdhani. The train is the later Rajdhani to arrive at the Central station, the first one being the Mumbai Rajdhani which gets there about 2 hours earlier. But the August Kranti makes a lot more halts. And that is good, for me!

 

The train parked itself on the platform at around 6.20 after waiting its turn for about 15 odd minutes before the Surat station. The few minutes were exciting, nonetheless. The Sunrise. And subsequently, lots of insights into the Surat way of life. A factory complex, Dhanraj Sons displayed in big bold letters on the terrace. Surbhi Hospital, multistorey apartments, not Railway ones though, these looked like posh ones with an AC at each window, a Mandir with its distinct trail of bells resounding the morning Aarti ritual, Shyam Optics in a market complex, the sudden appearance of several tracks, the squatting junta relieving themselves, and the final entry to Surat station


Parcels scattered on the station, milk bars, food stalls, people with luggage, people without luggage, some walking vehemently, while others staring sheepishly at railway reservation boards and trying to 'fix' up a seat with the TT in the oncoming train, none sleeping though! The canvas replete with all its colours. Truly a piece of art.

I am in the alleyway next to the exits and blasts of cold air from compartments entwine with wafts of freshly cooked Dhokla at the station. Wait! Did somebody say FOOD ? My eyes scanned the station for the nearest food stall, and there it was! Stacks of Dhokla, perfectly cut to cuboids, mottled and puffy in appearance and interspersed with green chillies. Lots of them.

Dhokla ( Steamed Gram flour) - A famous Gujarati snack

Piping hot Chirwa!

Oooh there were also samosas, kachoris and 3 different variants of pakoras being scooped out of the big kadhai with a 'channi'. And there was something in a plate which I tried to match in my head with every Gujarati snack I had knowledge of. The match returned no results. I deboarded the train, got to the stall and found that the plates were full of piping hot 'chidwa'. My eyes started wandering around. I was at the food stall, after all. I suddenly looked back. The train had started moving. I quickly scampered back.

From the door, I tried to take in my last sightings! A mother was trying to pacify her son who was getting all worked up about buying a chocolate. A last glimpse as the train whistled by and the boy was holding his prize. He had won the argument, it seems. As the train crossed over a bridge, I saw down below, 2 girls riding their ladybirds. Their carefree banter still rings in my ears.

First Appraisal Jitters!

19 new emails in your inbox.

I scanned the mailbox in a half asleep metastable state, read emails from my leads, blatantly ignored the rest with a conventional line of thought that people from the other part of the world are jobless blokes who love spamming.

It was yet another usual Monday at office with the usual work, the usual conversations and the usual people. As I walked into cafeteria for lunch towards the table that boasted the youngest prisoners of this corporate giant, I couldn't help noticing skewed faces. Curious to know what happened to their otherwise stupid grins, I paced my steps and lent my ears to their frenzied voices.

"I heard a fresher never gets a 5/5."

"Chandra was saying we have to overrate ourselves in technical aptitude and functional knowledge."

"My manager and I are emotionally attached by mutual hatred."

Okay! We are troubled souls but our lunchtime banter was never this depressing. I had to break in - "What's up?"

"You look pretty cool, Ms Star Performer", retorted Sparsh.

"Jeez, I hate that tag."

"But you would showcase that in your appraisal, wouldn't you?"

"Appraisal?!"

"Lo dekho! She doesn't even read emails."

With an I-know-more-than-you smirk, I was explained, "There was this mail from Andrew Castro, our vice-president apprising everyone about appraisals. Samjhi, madam?"

Ouch! Turns out that Andrew was not a jobless spammer.

As the deadline of the appraisal form completion approached, tensions soared and faces reddened. Seasoned folks like Somali completed it in 15 minutes while overly anxious new joinees would waste their weekends pondering what answers what. Considering the fact that we were ignorant employees, a training session on Appraisal system was conducted by a HR hottie. However, my unfavorable luck sent me out of town and made me miss the invaluable knowledge imparted. Perfect timing, you see. Had I attended the training, I would have said- HR girls had decimal IQs and were consummate bores. I always have something nice to say.

On the second last day, I opened the much discussed online application. An appraisee would have to self-rate herself in 14 competencies, chalk out goals achieved in that fiscal year, answer 5 basic questions and enlist 3 appraisal participants who would further rate her. At the end, employees would be adjudged by a digit in the range of 1-5, 5 being the highest.

Rating oneself was quite easy; the challenge was justifying your rating. To make things knotty, what was expected from the appraisee was already described at length in front of each competency which left little scope to over-rate. All I could think at that time was creative expletives for the HR team, purveyors of head-ache and restlessness.

Mustering the little energy left at the end of day and with degraded writing skills, I set to complete the task at hand. After three painstaking hours I concocted phrases like ‘Prioritized assigned work as per escalations and severity’, ‘Complied with existing processes and kept abreast with new developments’ , ‘Proved as a fast learner and could apply basic classroom concepts and ramp up at a good pace’ - so on and so forth. In just three hours, I had taken important decisions of my life – the purpose of my career, short term and long term goals, areas to improve on – all answers which were non-existent till that momentous day. Out of the blue, my least satisfying aspect of job changed from cafeteria food to missed learning opportunities. There was an innate sense of beauty in the sheer hollowness and falsity of my statements. That day, I left office with a triumph.

Next day, Sangeeta came running to my seat. Let me introduce you to Sangeeta – a colleague who would call you a friend only in the times of need.

“Hi! That bitch assigned me high priority work… blah blah blah … can you show me your appraisal form?”

“Why? What didn’t you understand?”

“What did you write in this question… … Please, can you show me your form?”

“Okay. Just see it once, don’t copy. At least, change the words.”

In a blink of an eye, she copy pasted my entire template. Wow! Can you beat me in foolishness?

One month later, my manager came all the way from Atlanta just to discuss appraisals with his immediate directs. If only he could cut down on travelling expenses, restricted to economical video conferences and saved team budget for hikes and bonuses. Alas! No one listens to my ideas.

My ex-manager and current manager met over a smoke and I was one of the topics of discussion. “She is a 5/5, critical for my team”, said my manager. How do I know this was said? It is the same way I know which department guy is dating which department girl. Office gossip network never falters!

Thus came my Judgment Day. I sat tensed in front of my appraiser, wondering what was going in his head. Finally, he starts, “You are a very good performer, you have done good work. You like your job very much, don’t you?”

My jaw line broke into a smile and inane words spurted out, “Not very much, sometimes it is monotonous.”

There was a long pause followed by, “So, let us start with goal accomplishment and then go back to competencies.”

“Okay, the way you say. All questions sounded similar to me or maybe I had the same answer.”

Oh yes! I said that. Something was definitely wrong with me. I felt like Jim Carrey in the court-room scene in the movie, Liar Liar.

I decided to shut my big mouth. For fifteen minutes, my manager went on saying things that were already known to me. Towards the end, he got bored and decided to take a fun pop quiz.

“Is there some area I can improve upon?”

“Do you have any special requests?”

And the most lethal of all, “How much would you rate yourself, out of 5?”

After many umms and errs, I said he could talk more often to us, requested a leave for Diwali but couldn’t answer the lethal one. To that, I said it was his job as an appraiser to rate me.

Tell me dear reader, haven’t I done enough by completing that form and sharing it with the Sangeetas of my world!

Another long pause followed. “Okay child, you have exceeded expectations. I would rate you 4/5 and I wish you continued success at work. Keep up the good work.”

With that we were done, my 5/5 crashed to 4/5 and so ended my first appraisal jitters.

The Cab in the 'Cab'-inet !

They are the meanest, not quite the leanest !

And if you aren’t used to break neck speeds, screeching halts, and the nastiest maneuvers on the tar, your bowels are in for some shock! Some might call this an epiphany to the Ambassadors in Calcutta. I call it a tribute to the craziest rides Ive ever had.

These yellow soldiers aren't comparable to the speedsters on the F1 circuit in raking pure numbers on the tachometer! But they were built to do things Bernie Ecclestone wouldn't even dare to!
Hindustan Motors built these Ambassadors strong. Calcutta being the largest consumer, they apparently have a factory nearby where you'll find these taxis on the assembly line.

Ive been to Calcutta twice now!

June 2010 and April 2011. The city never ceases to amaze me. The food, the sights, the river, the people, or the laidback attitude. That's the best part actually. I need to learn the I-know-I-am-lazy-but-I-don't-give-a-damn perspective! And don't get me wrong, but they do get their work done almost always.

But one thing that you can never miss are these taxis zipping by! ' Yellow colour + Huge size + Super fast maneuvering '. And they will always go by the meter.

While in the taxi, I've managed to have detailed discussions on the economics of driving a 'stone-age cab in a modern world' and the drivers have always convinced me that although a little high on maintenance, the 21st century cars don't even last a fraction of the years that these Ambassadors will. And the worst of accidents will just etch a tiny scratch somewhere on the body. These were made with hard-forged, furnace-baked Iron and Steel, not with cheaper, lighter alternatives, fitted by tender, gentile assembly line robots. Plus the super powerful engine, it roars! Make it climb mountains, make it race sedans!


Sad, that in India's capital city, you'll only see these beauties at the Railway station, the Airport or ferrying unsuspecting ministers in and out of the Parliament. They've become the exclusive rides of the neta-log and the babus! They've reached where very few manage to. Into the Cab-inet! I remember having driven my grandad's Fiat Premier Padmini when I was young. It was the time when the Ambassador was in vogue. Those were the days when the cars really had 'muscle'. And the driver needed to have a lot of' muscle' too, to be able to toggle around with the super hard mechanical steering and gear shifters.

But they would always take you to "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe", if you wanted!

The Fiat Premier Padmini

Catching the 4.20

What is the gamut of emotions that you feel when you are bang in the middle of this humongous traffic jam in Connaught Place and there is a train you’ve to catch in 20 minutes?

June 7, 2010.

That’s when I had to catch the 12382 Poorva Express to Calcutta at 4.20 in the afternoon.

Monday it was and as usual I hadn't put in anything into my bags on the weekend. Copious amounts of prodding from my mother had just led me to stack a pair of clothes that I intended to carry with me. Some packing, some fretting, a heavy lunch, a little more fretting, a little more packing and a lazy siesta later it was 3.15.

There was stuff to be copied from my computer onto my laptop, books to be packed in, clothes to be stuffed, lunch to be had, packed dinner to be taken along and mid-afternoon CP traffic to be negotiated. We had planned to leave for the station at 3.30. But the darn 'Copying..' popup on the computer was showing 30 mins.



Ok. I could get everything ready by that time. In the next 5 mins, I stuffed in whatever I could from my stack of 'clothes to be carried', threw in a dozen books and did the icing with some toiletries that I needed. Sad, that the coming 10 mins had to be me jumping on the stuffing so that the luggage could be zipped up. Ran to the bathroom, came running out. There was a cat there. A cat ? What was she doing there ... Wildlife running askew in the household. Must be the smell from the T-shirt that I spilled milk on. Bah!
Had to scare the poor girl away. Not today sweetie.. I have a train to catch..!

Apparently my PC in all its wisdom had thought of running faster today, so it was done in 20 mins. I stuffed my laptop in, tagged my bag along, rolled up the chappati, bowed to the deity and rushed out of the house. 15 mins later we were entering Janpath. Not bad I thought. Its 3.50. Another 10 mins and we would be at the station.

But the traffic just wouldn't budge. We were in the Outer circle and the CWG construction seemed to be the reason for this non-negotiable hold-up. Calm down.. calm down .. another 5 mins.. atleast the traffic is moving.

I looked out of the window at the plethora of cars all lined up in perfect symmetry honking and blaring red lights at the same time.
I had wanted to go to Cal in the sleeper class. That's what an actual train journey is supposed to be. Not the comfort of the 3AC coach. You don't know you're traveling in a train unless you get your nostrils filled with fresh air and dust from 5 odd states. Plus no Rajdhani for me this time. They always travel the night shift so you don't get to see outside the window like a 10 year old with your mouth wide open admiring the people and the places as they go by and you're at your destination when you get up in the morning. Useless! I was in no hurry to reach my destination. I had booked the Poorva since it was the fastest Express train and arrived in Cal at a decent time.

The horn blared unsympathetically one more time!
Go .. Go.. Go.. ! But the Swift in front of us just wouldn't move. Oh.. Its red again. It was 4.10 already. We are never going to make it on time. We were close to Chelmsford Road. We would run towards the station from the outer circle and enter from the Paharganj Side. My mother stayed in the car while Dad and I took out the luggage from the trunk and started hopping around the slow-paced cars. We reached Chelmsford road, hopped onto a rickshaw and reached the station .

5 mins to go.
Before running up the stairs, we managed to steal a glance at the big screen to see which platform to dash for. The weight of the bag was taking its toll now, I was beginning to pant. We paused for a moment amongst coolies and harried passengers getting in and out of the station. There it was. The Poorva Express parked majestically on the platform. We ran down the stairs of the foot-over-bridge and tried to locate my coach. Amidst a hurl of abuses, I squeezed out of a rank of people lined-up, waiting to get into the General compartment of the next train.

And I was in. Located my seat. Sat down. Both my Dad and I were sweating and panting. There were curious glances from fellow passengers, but we were both smiling.
We had just hopped around 2 dozen cars, chariot raced a Rickshaw on the Chelmsford road like Roman warriors, and carried 35 kg of luggage while dashing through a jamboree of people.
It was 4.20. The train gave a nasty jolt, unhappy at being woken up from its slumber. I bid goodbye to my dad.

This was going to be some adventure!

The Curious Case of the Open Lace!

Its rather terse , I warn.

I have been wanting to tell you this from times forlorn.
Every morning when I am scrambling to the stop,
to catch the bus to the metro and hop.
I stop and notice that my laces have come off
I stand and I wonder if I had even tied them on.

I scratch my head

I remember the clue
when I was stuffing the sandwich and tying the shoe.

Sometimes I wait, sometimes I don't
for I am too lazy or sometimes on the phone.
So the laces flow like a doggy's tail
but I carry on, for I am always late.

Moments later I hop off the metro and swipe the card
to sit in a Grameen Sewa Auto which is a "10 by 10" cart.
Filled with people to the brim who enjoy a rambly ride
10 road bumps later, I have to go to my cubicle and hide.
For if my boss sees the clock
he is sure to give me a firing on the spot.

I get to the office all queasy and panting
after running up the stairs and wishing the madam good morning!
I switch on my PC to check for new mail
but find that my laces have come off yet again.

So my routine is pretty routine
but I've yet to ask thee
if I can figure this out before I turn twenty three!

Shoe Shopping!

I am officially an ASS when it comes to shopping! More so.. when it is Shoe-Shopping!

Darn things are so hard to choose! There's a red one, one with a bow, the twitchy strap-ed one, the one with a 2 tonne sole, and the one with a real hard frontal which is known euphemistically to be "unkind" to the person who might be involved in a brawl with the owner of the pair.

So when the mochi bhaiya said he just couldn't put any more stitches on the body and amputating another piece of leather to give it a lil more life would tantamount to barbarism, I had to let go of my favourite pair of shoes :-( ! They all end up being my favourites, I tell you! There has not been a single pair that I bought that I have loved any less. Precisely the reason I give my parents why I take so much time to shop for them. "Shop" ?? Please.. how rude can that be.. I 'hand-pick' those babies..! ;-)



Apparently I was off to Chennai in a few days, so that hurried up the decision to pay a visit to my shoe-shopping addas, Yusuf Sarai & Sarojini Nagar the same evening. My mother, apparently wary of the time I took in selecting a pair, decided to give the visit a skip, citing "kitchen-work" as a reason. Hello! When did women get so bad at lying... Kitchen work stopping women from going to a place full of shops & clothes ?? Bah...!

We skipped Yusuf Sarai this time and headed straight to SN Market. Scouting the shoe-shops on the periphery gave us an idea as to what was “in” this season.
After 5 odd shops, I decided that we shouldn’t waste time and go to our usual shop. So we negotiated the Friday night rush of people, briskly walking to our destination.
Now, SN Market crowd is a curious mix of people.
1. There will be the one-odd gora-gori couple being festooned by “original leather belt” and “Rayban Aviator” salesmen, like honeybees crowding around a flower;
2. then there will be the group of single boys and girls window shopping and giggling;
3. the family junta with the daddy, mummy and 2 kids (or more) going into toy shops and electronics stores;
4. the group of auntyji’s or the recently married couple seen hogging on golgappas and chaat pakori, anything for that matter;
5. the 20ish something boyfriend-girlfriend group with the BF tagging along the GF to clothes stores;
6. and yes there are women going into Chacha Saree Bazaar as well.

For one, Sarojini Nagar Market and the adjoining Babu Market has like a billion shops for the female species. You just land there and kick me if you don’t find yourself buried under a pile of suits, blouses, sarees, kurtas, kurtis, shorts, tank-tops, tube-tops, and the gazillions other knick-knacks that you girls love donning or blinded by the colours that hit you straight in the face. I am sure, the salesmen there will convince you to buy a suit piece atleast, even if you are like a 60 year old bachelor with no prospects of female company, whatsoever. And OK! I donot know the difference between a kurta and kurti.. Agreed!

So after negotiating several lanes, by-lanes, under-the-tree chaiwallahs, & Cycle momowallahs, we managed to get into the shop that was going to be our respite from the menagerie that Sarojini Nagar becomes on a weekend. The owner knew me well to the point of my eccentric decision making skills. He was calm! He knew I would take my time! I scouted the racks for that one pair that could capture my attention. Rows after rows, shoe after shoe.. I rummaged through several and even tried a few pairs . . . but none felt good enough. Some were not my style, some not comfortable, some not available in my size. My dad & sister finally thought that we needed a change of environment and that we should head elsewhere. They bid the shopkeeper goodbye, who from the corner of my eye heaved a sigh of relief at his most pesky and finicky customer finally walking out.

I then ran my hands through stocks of 10 more shoe shops. Then... suddenly at the 10th shop I spotted a pair in red & black, just the perfect styling, simple yet elegant, not overdone one bit and rugged as hell to withstand the monstrosities that I would be doleing out. It was the perfect candidate to be on my feet. Oooooh! I immediately asked the bhaiya for one in my size to try on and definitely take back home with me. "27 wala design 8 number me diyo" the sales guy called out and the guy above us in the ceiling stock room began shifting boxes. I looked over to my side and saw boxes being flung by the stock room guy over the heads of unwary customers and it still managed to hit none of them. Classic old-school skill!

After a few tense moments of crossed fingers, it came down to the fact that they did not have one in my size and the stock wouldn't be around for another 2 weeks. I was ready to wait, but my folks were looking at me like they would strangle me if I didn't buy one today. So I tried getting my feet into the shoe size that was there, but it just wouldn't get in, how much ever pushing or shoving I did. So we walked out of another store!

I had lost all hope of finding my pick today. After close to 3 hours, we were back to where we had started. Shopkeepers were starting to haul down shutters. My eyes went up to the glowboards that dotted the Sarojini Market skyline. Quetta Store, The Nike Store, Chacha Saree Bazaar, Samsung Electronics, Bata Store. We had crossed the Bata showroom twice that evening, but had decided against going inside. We went in this time. I browsed through the designs. There was this one all-black sneaker, that I kinda took an instant liking to. A pair came out in my size. Tried it on. Fitted perfectly. Comfortable! I paid ! And we were off! The Quest had ended! My daddy and sister raised their heads towards the sky and thanked the Gods!

After skimming through 230 odd pairs, Karan had finally found his match!

Up in the Air & ..uh.. Cuckoo!

The plane starts taxiing to one end of the runway while the crew doles out sermon after sermon on how to save your puny ass when this giant flying bird feels sick. I liked the part where the oxygen mask falls onto your head. I might as well take a swig of the oxygen right now and get high. Yes, pure oxygen will give you a high. Medically proven!

While I sit ruminating, the plane jolts to a stop and readies itself to give me a high. The engines blare out in full throttle, spewing gallons of air every second, and the plane is off, sparing no moment of rest to the Odometer which races to lift speed when the plane leaves the ground. Now I understand why people want to drive a Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano or the classic Lamborghini. The speed, the acceleration take you to places where others cannot. The thrill of the G-forces kicking in and making your blood travel up and down. Woooah! I am now 35,000 ft in the air, passing over what seems like an endless canvas of fields, houses and huts that seem like blips down below and my ears keep popping in and out. Rivers, highways and railroads cut across this canvass with ease, and I wonder what would Golgappas at this height taste like? Would an open Golgappa and Aloo-chaat counter in a plane be an interesting notion? Or would this addition in cuisine be the cause of more panic than the convenience it offers to crazy street food loving people like me?


Up in the Air. And thinking about Food! Bloody one – track mind!

The sun seems bright, alright, shining away to glory! And the clouds down below make for nice cushions I would definitely want in my bed. And why not! I have a taste for luxury.

Oh Shut up! I really do!